Patterns in the fabric of life
Apr 3rd, 2008 by spaceagesage
Math used to be a four-letter word for me. In seventh grade I developed a mental block to basic addition, subtraction, etc. I managed to take algebra as a freshman in high school, but never took another math class for the next seven years — all the way to my Bachelor’s Degree.
Fortunately life’s experiences helped me over that mental block. As I let go of my distrust toward the foundational knowledge we use to understand “such concepts as quantity, structure, space and change,” ( Wikipedia) I noticed more patterns and equations in life I had not seen before. Eventually, the Oriental concept of yin and yang clarified in my mind, human interaction seemed less confusing, and The Nature of Things focused into a greater simplicity.
As I look back, I don’t recall any specific moment of epiphany, it just seems life became easier to understand. I noticed the words people used didn’t always reflect their inner selves and learned to look inside at the heart instead of at the surface. I realized people will always embrace a little bit of “The Sky Is Falling” mentality, but the sun still rises and sets without my help or theirs. I started to see the beauty beyond the initial ugliness of things like Alzheimer‘s, conflict, and not being able to fix everyone’s problems for them.
And as I read more and more, a pattern of understanding also evolved. I know life isn’t about how much I have, what I do, or people pleasing. I know it isn’t about the next cool thing, the next fad, the next American Idol winner. It isn’t about how skilled I am, how many ranks or levels of status I have, or how much higher education I have. It isn’t about being duty-bound, following the rules, or living a specific set of dos and don’ts.
I discovered that it is about letting go of my need to covet control over life and instead learn to let go and let God. Once that relationship with him settled with some years of experience, then love, wisdom, gentleness, and patience grew in me in a way that truly transforms. I tried to be all those things with a legalistic relationship with God, but he showed me that it is not about doing things or even giving 110 percent effort, it is about giving him my heart to heal, nurture, and transform so that his creative force is the power in my life.
“Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms
into the tracery of the finger of God.”
Herbert Westren Turnbull
As Always, you are wonderful…Thank You.