SpaceAgeSage

This short and pithy tale is one of my favorite Oriental stories:

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman wanting cross as well, but she was afraid. The senior monk invited the woman onto his back, carried her piggy-back across the river, and let her down on the other bank.

The junior monk was very upset, but said nothing. They both were walking for over an hour, and senior monk noticed that his junior remained silent and upset. He inquired “Is something the matter? You seem to have lost your calm.”

The junior monk replied, “In our order of monks, we are not permitted to touch or talk with a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your back?”

The senior monk sighed and replied, “I left the woman at the river’s bank over an hour ago, however, it is you who seems to be carrying her still.”

I think most of us carry some level of anger, hurt, betrayal, fear, doubt, unforgiveness, and jealousy with us as we journey forward in life. Sometimes I have even been addicted to them and nurtured them along.

For example, the youngest of my three older brothers fell out of favor with a high school football coach who ended up making my brother’s life hell by verbal abuse, snide comments, and by turning some of his classmates and team members against him. Eventually we moved, but I swore to myself that if I ever saw the coach again, I would, at the least, spit on him and, at the worst, throw a punch or kick at him. I spent my high school and college years wishing I would see this man on the street so he could “make my day.”

I don’t remember when, but sometime in my mid-20s, I realized how much wasted energy went into my long-term grudge. I realized I had been carrying this jerk on my back all those years, and I never benefited one iota from it. Marinating in a grudge or selfish anger or other negative emotions has never made me a better person. If anything, it has lessened my body’s and my immune system’s ability to function at full health because of the added stress it put on me.

POCKET-THOUGHT:
When I carry within me negative thoughts and emotions toward others, I find I hurt myself more than I hurt those people. As authors of HeartMath Solution Doc Childre and Howard Martin write, “We all know people who say: ‘It’s the principle of the matter’ to justify sustaining toxic emotions for years. As they hold onto their anger or hurt, they bleed away their energy reserves, often ending up bitter and depressed.”

How can we be more like the senior monk and lighten our loads so life is richer, happier, and more carefree?

Tags: burdens, finding sagehood, grudges, health, load, monks, negative emotions, oriental stories