SpaceAgeSage

When we seek deep, meaningful change within ourselves, we often push, force, and blast ourselves through a lot of activity to “make it happen.” But like those cartoon characters whose legs spin in one place while trying to run, we often get nowhere fast. Why is that? In a previous post, I covered seven powerful tools to create real change based on the work of authors Don Riso and Russ Hudson in their book The Wisdom of the Enneagram. In another post, I took a deeper look at #1, Seeking Truth. This post delves into the nature of #2, Not Doing:

As Riso and Hudson write,

The process of transformation sometimes seems paradoxical because we speak of struggle and effort as well as of allowing, accepting, and letting go. The resolution of these apparent opposites lies in the concept of Not Doing. Once we understand Not Doing, we see that the real struggle is to relax into greater awareness so that we can see the manifestations of our personality.

Not easy, is it? Let’s look at some ways to let go:

1) Realize it is a process, a journey, a voyage of discovery – and relax!

Have you watched an overeager student, employee, or child try “too hard,” and end up taking longer than necessary, or stressing out, or quiting in frustration? Although they are “doing the work,” it often seems more like they are trying to “herd cats” or “push a wet rope.” As a karate instructor, I watch new students come into class thinking that trying harder at doing a technique will make them better, but by black belt, they realize trying softer and learning to relax is the key to speed, power and fluidity of movement and mind. Even if I taught white belts some black belt moves, they would not be able to execute the moves like a black belt because the amount of repetitions and thus skill confidence is not the same. Similarily, wisdom, seasoning, and insight take time to work into the fiber of our beings, and forcing it will not make it happen faster.

2) Let go of the normal response patterns

By not allowing ourselves to react to triggers or impulses — and thus embrace Not Doing — we get a chance to really listen to what is going on in our heads. If all we do is do stuff, then it is hard to focus on change. It is like giving ourselves busy work so we can run and hide behind productivity. I don’t mean stop everything and become a monk, but try to dial down the inner chatter, the compulsions, and the tendency to “get busy” for busyness’ sake.

3) Flow with the river

There is an Oriental story of a villager who lived near a raging river that no swimmer had dared enter. One day, the villager walked a different way by the river and saw a man take off his sandals and shirt and start to jump in. The villager ran toward the stranger, but his warnings could not be heard above the roaring waters. As he ran up to the river’s edge, the villager was shocked to see the man pop up a few hundred feet downstream and come to shore. When the wet man returned to retrieve his clothes, the villager told him no one had ever done that before. The villager added, “How could you survive such powerful water?” The stranger replied, “Those who fight the river cannot win. I simply let myself go with the flow and let the river take me to the edge.”

Now I don’t recommend trying this in Colorado whitewater or anywhere else, as it is a metaphor, but I think you get the idea. Sometimes it is better to flow with things rather than do battle.

POCKET-THOUGHT:
Once or twice I helped my grandfather hoe weeds in the large farm garden when I was a pre-teen. He always moved in an unhurried, relaxed fashion that was like the tortoise to my hyper hare. I would try to beat him by hoeing fast to finish a row before he did, but I would burn out in kid time. He would keep on moving and covering more ground at his pace than I ever could with my start-stop method. He was working, but he was not working at working.

Have you ever used Not Doing to make positive changes or watch someone else move forward by Not Doing?

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Photo credit:  speech path girl

Tags: change, creating change, finding sagehood, how to change, personal development, personal growth, personal improvement