Motivational methods to tackle insecurity, part two
Jul 9th, 2008 by spaceagesage
Living with a lack of confidence is emotionally draining. It prevents us from fully embracing our own potential and keeps us down. Deciding to stop running from our fears and facing them head on takes motivation. The drive and desire to move beyond insecurity comes in a number of methods, some of which can be combined. Motivation is personal, though, and we must find the type that works for us.
Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.
~ Napoleon Hill ~
In previous posts on my series about Insecurity, I covered the topics of: nature of insecurity, causes, why overcoming it can be so hard, and finding motivation, part 1. Here is finding motivation, part 2:
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“Play out the movie”
The pop definition of crazy is “Doing the same things over and over, but expecting different results.” If we play out our lives as if on a movie screen, how does it look for us at the end of this flick? If we do not address the apprehension, self-doubt, and lack of confidence we have now, what will our futures look like in one, 10, or 30 years? Won’t we be just as insecure and even more set in our ways?
If you plan to be alive for a good, long time (and I hope you do!), why not decide now to make the changes make you more confident, self-assured, and comfortable in your own skin? The question of change and personal growth is “If not now, when?” If you see yourself stuck on pause in the film of your life with insecurity as the director of your life, nothing can change.
To motivate out of this rut, take a moment to think what it would be like to release yourself from insecurity?
- How would you feel if you were confident and composed as you went through life?
- How would your life be different?
- How would people treat you differently?
- What risks would you now be able to take with eager anticipation of payoff?
- How would your impact on the world change?
- How would things change for you 5 and 10 years down the road?
- Would you be happier with yourself?
- How much more could you tap into your talents, skills, aptitudes, passion, and dreams?
Take time to visualize all the aspects of your life that will change. When you see yourself down the road as a secure person, doesn’t that make you want to finally and powerfully break free from insecurity today?
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Hit bottom
In the drug and alcohol rehabilitation world, there is a phrase, “hitting your bottom.” It doesn’t just apply to substance abuse, though. It is a point at which your body, mind, and soul realize enough is enough and you can no longer stand being a puppet to your addictions, including the addiction to insecurity. When you hit your bottom, your current situation is so unbearable that change – no matter how painful or embarrassing – will be far less painful than the status quo.
If you have seen Will Smith in the movie Hancock, you understand this concept. In the film, Smith’s foul-mouthed, hard-drinking, and calloused character hits his bottom so hard that he becomes willing to face public humiliation and personal hardship to change his life around. In the movie, Kung Fu Panda, the main character Po hits bottom with his insecurity as well:
“Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled; it hurt, but it could never hurt more than everyday of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone can change me, can make me not me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!”
Both Hancock and Po have some help on their healing, empowering journeys, but both have to be willing to make the changes. Here are other ways people hit bottom hard enough to find motivation:
- Become sick and tired enough of your boss or others having the ability to push your insecurity buttons
- Realize being disrespected is your fault for not being assertive and confident enough
- Finally figure out it won’t get better unless you make some changes now
- Become miserable enough from seeing your talents go unused
- Get fed up enough with other people having the say-so in your life
When I hit bottom with my insecurity, I realized I was sick and tired of the level of control it had over me. I hated celebrating each new birthday and New Year’s knowing my lack of confidence and the inability to believe in myself remained with me despite the other changes in my life. Even with a third degree black belt, self-doubt plagued me. I could mask my discomfort because of my training, and the doubts never bothered me when I was teaching a class, but outside of class, I still felt as if I had to live up to my perfectionist ideal of the “perfect wife,” the “perfect black belt,” and the “perfect daughter.” More on this in my next post on actions to take to overcome insecurity.
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I have covered a number of ways to find motivation in this and the previous post. They are certainly not a complete list. How about you? How do you find motivation?
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