Mindsets can be set or set to change
Aug 4th, 2008 by spaceagesage
Do we spend our lives trying to validate ourselves or to develop ourselves? The answer could very well explain why mediocrity might outweigh meaning in our lives, or why the super talented may not reach their full potential.
At the blog Heroes not Zombies by Bob Leckridge, he writes a post, “Two mindsets – Fixed and Growth,” in which he quotes this passage from a book by Carol Dweck Mindset. The New Psychology of Success:
When you enter a mindset, you enter a new world. In one world – the world of fixed traits – success is about proving you’re smart or talented. Validating yourself. In the other – the world of changing qualities – it’s about stretching yourself to learn something new. Developing yourself.
I believe she is saying that when we just stick to just our guns and our talents, we lock ourselves into a narrower world of possibilities. If I know I’m good at karate (or business, marketing, speaking, writing) and rely only on those skills to find my self esteem and success, then why would I stretch to learn dance, gymnastics, or skiing? But, if I don’t define my success and sense of self by my talent base, then I am free to explore areas where my talents aren’t so established. Once there, I can expand my skills or create integration between the two areas.
I haven’t read her book, but as I read her words, I get the impression that staying fixed on our perceived strengths keeps us as very complacent caterpillars, but that we become butterflies by embracing change, growth, and newness of view.
Where do you feel you are in life — caterpillar stage, in the cocoon, or flying free?
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Photo credit: speech path girl
I agree that we should not limit ourselves to what we feel, or what we’re told, we are good at. It’s just too limiting.
Vered,
I think you and your blog are a good example of not limiting yourself!
This is an interesting topic. I do see the value in those times that I have stretched myself, however, I am not drawn to doing certain things that I’m not good at because I simply don’t enjoy doing them.
We all have certain talents and gifts and are drawn to specific hobbies and goals as a result. A person can be creative and still work with and nurture the same talents. Example: a person who loves to dance can explore many different styles of dance and still not feel limited.
I would have to say that right now I’m in the cocoon. I think that I have probably experienced all these stages at numerous times in my life; it’s all part of the process of growing.
*Laughing* Yes, Davina, you should have seen this farm girl try to take a ballet class in college from an instructor complete with cane and aristocratic air of snobbery. I lasted one class. Some places, ya jez don’ wanna go!
You know, sometimes I feel that I’m in the cocoon stage and sometimes I feel like I’m flying free.
All in all, I know that I have certain talents. And though I embrace those talents, I still push the limits of my creativity to find more. If we don’t push our creativity, well, we’re just limiting ourselves…
Ribeezie,
I understand. Part of me seems to want to be in the cocoon, while other parts want to fly.
Wow, how true is that! How many times do we rest on our laurels when we could be striving to improve? And how much time is wasted trying to prove how awesome we are in one capacity? Time that could be spent becoming even awesomer.
Definitely food for thought for all of us.
Naomi —
Thanks for the comment and energy behind it!
Lovely butterfly spaceagesage……is that you?
I’m a learning addict. Always have been. I’ve haven’t the slightest doubt that the challenges I’ve accepted through life have grown me. Growth is, I believe, a fundamental characteristic of health. Most of medicine, it seems to me, is focused on making repairs, but if that’s all you do, you stay kinda stuck. Better medicine, in addition to helping repair, fosters resilience. By that, I mean it develops strength and the ability to cope so the next whatever that comes along doesn’t wreak the same amount of harm. But even that’s not enough, because if we learn something about ourselves and life through our experience of illness then we have a chance to grow.
Thanks for your post – and for the butterfly photo!
I’m with Davina in that you are drawn to what you know you are talented at. The trick, though, is to open your eyes to unknown talents while performing the ones you are already good at. For example, my daughter is a very talented photographer. Naturally, she was drawn to a job in the field and got a job in a photography studio. What she discovered in the process is that she also has a very creative mind for marketing and managing a business. She now manages the studio, and is very involved with the owner in major business decisions. I started out in computer programming, but quickly discovered that I much prefer working with the client and helping them figure out their requirements. I now have a masters certificate in project management. Same as what you are saying; keep your eyes open and don’t limit yourself.
@Bob —
Thanks for the insight via the medical knowledge, and leave it up to you to bring up the health benefits of a more fluid mindset! The more I learn about brain plasticity, the more I want to keep growing.
@Urban Panther —
Keeping eyes open to other avenues and possibilities is a good idea. (Just between you and me, I’m looking forward to discovering an unknown talent for laying in a hammock on a beach sipping margaritas with my hubby!)
Actually…..not the beach, but the Urbane Lion and I have this great set up under a tree in the back yard. It’s a hammock large enough for two, and we crawl into it, mojitos in hand, and write our posts. Now if we could just import the sun, sand, and pool boy it would be great. OH! And the pool!
Urban Panther —
Sounds wonderful!
Hi SpaceAgeSage,
I love to stretch my brain and learn new things. Begin satisfied with status quo can lead to complacency and boredom. I want to fly free.
Barbara —
Boredom and complacency can never fly can they? They are too heavy even for the metaphor!