Requesting help from my readers
Oct 20th, 2008 by spaceagesage
Hello, Dear Readers —
This post is a request for help on an e-book and possible website I’m planning on creating, so if you came for the usual posts or the continuation of the media fast results, you may want to skip this one.
The e-book I’m working on, which is almost complete, is Think Like a Black Belt — 15 Personal Safety Tips. As a senior instructor in the martial arts and 3rd degree black belt, my goal in writing the book is to offer a distilled version of the non-combative lessons and thinking processes a karate student picks up on the way to black belt and beyond. I understand the value of training in martial arts classes twice or more a week, but not everyone can, so I wrote the book for non-martial artists — basically, self defense for everyone. I also wrote it with over 30 discussion questions so parents can talk with their children about each of the 15 tips.
AND NOW TO MY REQUEST:
To add to the website or the next edition of the book, I’m compiling Success Stories about people who used quick thinking, escape, evasion, awareness, intuition, common sense, body language, voice control, boundary setting, or other, less combative skills to thwart or survive an emergency or an attack.
People learn a lot from the stories of others — and gain courage — so I want to be able to share them with readers. If you have such a story or can connect me with someone who would share, too, I ‘d like to hear from you. You can contact me at: tillerheart {at} gmail {dot} com. (I write my email address this way to avoid spammers searching for emails to harvest. Just take out the {at} and {dot} and replace them with the usual characters @ and . )
THANKS! If you have questions let me know!
Also, below is a Sidebar Story of my own success story that I include in the book (yours doesn’t have to be this long or detailed):
SIDEBAR STORY: Hitchhiking to Hell?
When I was young, foolish, and pretty convinced “nothing can happen to me”, I walked out to a bus stop on Colorado State Highway 82 hoping to catch the next bus into the resort town of Aspen. The mid-morning sun had warmed the early summer air enough that I didn’t need a jacket or to sit in the protected bus stop area. I was alone, so I stood behind the bus stop, my back to the road as I looked up the valley wall for a glimpse of deer or elk.
As I waited, a 30-something man in a huge boat of a car pulled up. He waved me over and said, “Hey, I’m headed to Aspen. Do you want a ride?”
I thought, What the heck? This will save me some bus fare. Opening the passenger door, I threw my day pack on the floor and hopped inside.
Red Flags
Almost immediately after accelerating to the speed limit, the man looked over at me with eyes that refused to meet mine and said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I really get off on looking at you.”
Every red flag in my system popped up and started waving. My mind instantly visualized duct tape, rope, and plastic bags in this guy’s huge car trunk, a trunk big enough to hold several bodies.
At this point in my life, I had grown up a tough farm girl with three older brothers and had taken a few months of karate. Despite all those earlier experiences and training, somewhere deep inside of my soul, my Inner Warrior awoke for the first time. I looked straight at him, and with a calm, icy voice replied, “Yes. Yes, I do mind that you get off on looking at me. And since I do mind, you will drop me off at the next bus stop.”
Still unable to look me in the eye, he replied, “I’m not going to hurt you or anything. I just get off on looking at you. I’m headed to work, and I just wanted to offer you a ride.”
Unsolicited promise
I didn’t know at the time that he had just given me what is called an “unsolicited promise.” Why did he need to reassure and promise me that he wouldn’t hurt me? I don’t tell people that in normal conversation and neither do you. All I knew was that these new words made all my other red flags pale in comparison. My abruptly awakened Inner Warrior decided that if this man turned off the highway before the next bus stop and started to take a dirt road up into a secluded area, I would make sure the trauma I inflicted his head would incapacitate or kill him.
I believe the total determination in my demeanor, the powerful words I kept using, and my quiet, but deadly tone of voice made it clear to him that I was not a “good” victim. Fortunately for him, he drove past the turn up into the isolated area and dropped me off at the bus stop. The whole time I was in the car and when I was getting out he kept telling me, “I just get off on looking at you,” and “Hey, it wasn’t like I was going to hurt you or anything.”
Almost a day later, it would suddenly pop into my memory that while waiting for the bus and looking for wild life on the hillside, I had seen the same car out of the corner of my eye travelling down the highway in the opposite direction. The man had gone around a bend in the road, pulled a U-turn, and specifically come back for me. Yeah, right, he was just “headed to work.”
What saved me?
- I never minimized or went into denial about the potential danger.
- I didn’t over-react, but was charged up and ready to respond.
- I used “I-statements” to express myself, but never belittled him.
- I kept my words devoid of emotion because I did not want to show fear.
- I refused to allow any level of emotional control to pass to him.
- I used my time to plan a debilitating attack on him.
- I radiated absolute resolve and determination.
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Photo Credit: Jeff Kramer
Hi Lori – that hitchhiking story was gripping.
I think I might have had a few very small incidents in the vein of your story, but nothing that stands out enough to remember. If I think of something I’ll let you know.
Hi Robin,
Thanks!
I know it isn’t the funnest thing to do, but I appreciate that you would think about this.