Blogging for fun or inner fears?
Oct 29th, 2008 by spaceagesage
In doing Inner Work – a.k.a. personal development – I discovered the Enneagram personality types awhile back. From that research, I realized my personality is rooted in the need to be secure and safe. According to the book The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Riso and Russ Hudson this is how my personality is:
- Basic Fear: Of having no support and guidance, of being unable to survive on their own
- Basic Desire: To find security and support
- Superego Message: “You are good or OK if you do what is expected of you.”
For me this meant having a tendency to jump into a group and become The Indispensible One. This didn’t mean becoming high-profile, necessarily, because the head that sticks up gets chopped off, but my personality type is often needy to be needed to protect itself from being left out or isolated. I also seek to know all the rules of any group or organization, to more quickly fit in.
In being a beginning blogger this meant my personality type felt an anxious rush to find out how to blog properly and then build a secure network to feel accepted and safe. I felt compelled to do more and more online to make this happen. After awhile in this self-created pressure cooker, I realized I was doing the same things I have done in the past, things I thought I was over.
People with my personality type who are more dysfunctional or unhealthy, will often face a life of anxiety as they search for that sense of protection. Those who are more mature and have done Inner Work, will have learned to have faith in themselves and trust in the goodness of life. The way to abundance for these types, according to the authors of The Wisdom of the Enneagram is to “Remember that it is your true nature to be courageous and capable of dealing with life under all conditions.”
My media fast helped remind me of that so I could come out of my own amnesia about it.
Is there a part of you that keeps cropping up and makes you say, “Hey, didn’t I already deal with this?”
Or have you ever felt this way:
—-Before enlightenment …
chopping wood, carrying water.
After enlightenment …
chopping wood, carrying water.
—-
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Lost childhood messages
Seven powerful tools to create real change
Things that keep us from relaxing
Yesterday, I had the flu and didn’t write a post for today. At 9 p.m. I sat there with my head between my hands, and said “I have no post for tomorrow.” The Urbane Lion looked at me and asked “If you didn’t post 5 days a week would the world come to an end?” I responded, “Yes.” He just chuckled and said “Just asking.”
I did not post anything new today. The world did not come to an end. Although it did snow.
Hi Urban Panther,
LOL! You got a great Urbane Lion there!
I used to post seven days a week when I first started, but read about so much burn out among bloggers that I dropped to about 3 a week as a preventative. (Wisdom and time have this deal between them, so it’s OK.)
I have two blogs and post once a week on each of them. I wanted to write something more organized than my free-association journals, but it took a long time to find the right format. I wanted to have pictures or other graphics and couldn’t figure out how to do it until I discovered blogging. I love it. I write what moves me and hope it connects with someone else. 🙂
Hi Lori. Everyday there is something that comes up that I thought I’d already dealt with. But it’s a good opportunity to look at it from another perspective rather than “I thought I’d dealt with this but I guess I failed.” (at least that’s what I try to do).
@ Urban Panther. I was just by your blog funnily enough. I’m secretly glad you didn’t post today. It gave me a chance to get caught up on my reading 🙂 I hope you are feeling better…
Interesting. It looks like our personality types are very different. I do have a need to stick out, even though I know it comes with a price.
As far as blogging goes, I’m still looking for the right balance for me.
As far as life goes, I don’t think I have changed much over the years. I expected to be calmer as I get older, but I am just as intense as I was 15 years ago, when I was in my early twenties.
I have to look more into this Enneagram stuff. I read about it on Evelyn’s blog and it sounds fascinating. I like security too, particularly in my relationships, but according to her quiz I am inherently a number 7, an optimistic adventurous type. And like Vered, I do like to stick out from the herd. As for blogging balance I have been questioning that a lot in my recent imposed fast from my on-line world and I think I am still trying to find the best balance for me. I have only ever posted 3 times a week, but these days I’m thinking maybe I should cut back to 2. Other than my frustrations at computers last week, I was actually much more relaxed without blogging and found it easier to focus on my son. I don’t want to stop blogging at all, but this made me think maybe it’s taken over a little bit too much. Particularly when you consider time spent commenting and feeding my twitter addiction.
At this rate, my novel is never going to get published!
Kelly 🙂
Hi Jean,
It connects with me! I’m glad you found blogging. The content management part of it is so fun – matching words and photos the way I want them to look.
Hi Davina,
I define failure as not moving forward after the setback, whereas those who succeed “lean in to it” as Seth Godin writes.
Hi Vered,
Intense is good, as long as you get to focus it where you want. I find connecting with bloggers helps keep me moving forward.
Hi Kelly,
I find that my addictions make me cranky when they are interrupted, thus that crankiness is a good indicator for me of when I need to chill out, relax, and enjoy people more.
If you take a longer, more detailed Enneagram test, it should give you a better result. I like the book I mentioned because I was testing for two different personality types, but they helped me find the right one. A great site from which to start is http://www.9types.com/
“I felt compelled to do more and more online to make this happen. After awhile in this self-created pressure cooker”
This describes my tendency, too, though I’ve kept it in check all right. I can sense it creeping up, but it’s not out of hand yet.
ari
Hi Ari,
You are wise to keep it in check and keep a close eye on it!