Butterflies and bricks
Nov 5th, 2008 by spaceagesage
Sometimes we really are our own worst enemies.
Part of us may want to push toward a dream or goal that requires work, and at the same time, part of us runs from it.
The part that wants to run tells us that if we start down this path, all that work will be too much. We see it through a picture of pain – seeing ahead to all the work, effort, failures, setbacks, and times of remotivation. It is as if all the required future effort gets piled into an emotional, “NO! Don’t do it! ” even before we start.
I imagine it visually as a butterfly trying to lift a brick and keep it airborne with wings that rip from the effort. Yes, hard work is, well, hard, but that extra self-limiting thought can make it even more unbearable.
How many of us put off dietary changes, exercise, job searches, relationship improvements, and other goals because we feel like that butterfly?
Our tendency to push so hard against what isn’t even really there yet (the big picture of pain) may stop us dead in our tracks before we start or soon after our first tough moment. Because of this, many motivators, personal development bloggers, and self-help books tell us to slice and dice the monster image down into doable steps.
Rather than saying, “I will clean the whole house today,” some of the advice these days tells us to select a manageable portion of the problem. For example, take five minutes a day on your closet until it is done. Take fifteen minutes of picking up and cleaning in the morning. Take one weekend a month to do a 4-hour focused organizational attack in one area that needs it.
This type of approach gives the poor butterfly a chance to pulverize the brick and move it one piece at a time, with each completed job allowing for a sense success that builds over time.
How do you approach the big projects, goals, or dreams? Does working piecemeal help you tackle them?
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Photo credit: speech path girl
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I agree that breaking a big project into manageable pieces works. Another way is to visualize yourself succeeding in a big project rather than visualizing the obstacles or failure.
I’m a great one for breaking things down into manageable steps, and for doing my best to enjoy the process.
I’d agree that breaking down the big projects into small manageable tasks is a better strategy for myself. If I don’t do some planning, I tend to get overwhelmed. The last I should be doing is to paralyze myself into inaction!
Hi Vered,
You are so right with the idea of visualizing success!
Hi Jean,
“Enjoying the process”– looks like you have got the best of both worlds there.
Hi Evelyn,
Paralysis when facing just about anything doesn’t work very well. I think we do it subconsciously and avoid things by pushing them to the back of our minds.
I like the butterfly analogy just because I seem to flit from one
project to another, finally reaching a completion point and not
totally bored with any one project. Drove the engineering husband
crazy, but though it probably took longer to reach the goal, I stayed
in a better mood. Starting in the middle and scattering in all
directions…frenetic, but not as driven.
Hi Lori. I have to admit that quite often I just jump right in and see how far I get in a task. Sometimes I end up dividing it up while I’m in the middle of it. I’ve noticed that if I spend too much time examining something I fall into that analysis paralysis syndrome and never get started.
Hi Auntie M,
That’s why you are always so mellow — you didn’t get the gene for mad-cow perfectionism!
Hi Davina,
Sometimes projects just need jumping into, too. Analysis paralysis has driven me crazy more than once. I try to flow more, but it’s tough.